I was out with two friends yesterday – two friends, two different times. Both of them friends that I adore for different reasons. But it was friend #2, over a beer, whilst we were discussing people, that he indicated he was surprised that I was not “friends” with a person we know mutually.
I denied ever being friends with this person. Friend #2’s reaction to this was one of astonishment, and it has had me worried ever since.
Am I the worst friend ever? Do I not recognize friendship when its staring me in the face? Do I define friendship differently than most?
This morning, I’ve had the OED open to the word friend, and compared it to the definition as provided by Mirriam-Webster and the great prophet Scott Adams, etc. For the record:
The OED defines friend:
a person whom one knows and with whom one has a bond of mutual affection; typically exclusive of sexual or family relations.
Scott Adams defines a friend as:
1. Someone you have told a secret.
2. Someone who has accepted a favor from you.
One attached to another by affection or esteem.
I asked Michael about this, and he believes the word “friend” has become generic, and that acquaintance has blurred into friendship.
These definitions considered, then I must define friend in my own way. I consider my husband my best friend, but we do get up to some hanky-panky, so in that sense, the OEDs definition doesn’t fit.
I do have great regard and esteem for the people I work with, so they must be my friends according to Mirriam-Webster.
I have 98 “friends” according to Facebook – many of them are or have been close friends, family members, work friends, ex-boyfriends, school friends, acquaintances, neighbours, or those I have never met, but share a common interest – church, politics, Coronation Street, etc.
Of all my friends, I have friends I drink beer with, wine with, eat with, confide with, joke with, write to, talk to, go on walks with. There are those friends I lost touch with, but who are always there in my heart. I have friends who inspire me, who motivate me, who make me laugh. I have friends that make me think, challenge my intelligence, make me learn. I have friends who encourage me and support me and stand behind me. I have friends who are just pure fun, and we roll around laughing until our guts hurt. I have friends that I will cry with and conspire with.
All you people I know…. those who I esteem, have regard for, love, shared a secret, play Scrabble with, and have a bond of mutual affection… I’m happy to have you as my friend and feel privileged to have you in my life.
*sigh* This is just too much emotion for a Saturday morning. I need to kick back and have a cup of tea and watch some footie.
2 Comments Add yours
Hey woman my candid response is you are analyzing things too deeply…."Friend #2's reaction to this was one of astonishment, and it has had me worried ever since"…sounds like you have some great moments with those around you…enjoy them for just that!
fantastic post! a great examination of the other 'f' word 🙂