It’s been one of those Saturdays. You the know the sort, I’m sure. The previous week, I was away from home for business for four days, eating pub type food for most of them, all in the spirit of being social. Last week we hosted out-of-towners at work, which included an evening out eating pub type food, you know, to be social. Last night a group of friends and I got together for an evening drinking pints of Guinness followed by a supper and grill show at Japanese Village. Although the food was good (still believe they cook one of the best steaks in the city), the floor show and ambiance fell a bit flat. Being the troopers that we are, our group still had a nice time. But when we left, we carried Japanese Village with us in our clothes and hair. The ventilation fans weren’t working well and we sat within a grease cloud for the hour we were there. When we got home, Michael and I went through a routine similar to what you’ve seen Meryl Streep do in the movie Silkwood. Clothes stripped off, jumped in the shower to hose and scrub ourselves down, clothes in laundry, and jackets on the balcony to air out.

We are both battling our second and third colds of the year, and both woke up around 2:30 a.m. to coughing fits.  It was like duelling banjos.

After the coughing fits subsided (Michael won the duel, as he was able to go back to bed and sleep) I sat in front of the TV feeling hot-cold-sweaty-itchy and soothed myself by watching a week’s worth of Coronation Street on the PVR at 3:00 a.m., spooning Nutella into my mouth wondering why Ferrero even bothers with printing an expiry date on their Nutella lids. I had this thought, “I should be eating better than this”, then found the bag of caramel popcorn from Kernels.

Nothing sets off a healthy eating plan like desperation and despair. As soon as the clock ticked over to 9:00 a.m. this morning I headed over to the newly opened Glow Juicery in Old Strathcona. I bought six bottles of juice, and signed up a three-day raw food cleanse. Because it takes a few days to get the cleanse, I thought a pre-cleanse of juice and salads would be a great launch into my new Healthy Self.

For good measure, I stopped in at Planet Organic, bought a bottle of apple cider vinegar, a jar of coconut oil, and a bottle of oregano oil. Why? Because health food nuts always have apple cider vinegar, a jar of coconut oil, and a bottle of oregano oil. I feel healthier already just having these items in the apartment.

The oregano oil, says my friend Suzanne, will get rid of my cold, and make me immune to them. I used the dropper and with clinical precision, squeezed four drops into two glasses of water. I took my dose fairly easily, but as the oregano oil floats on the water, got some on my lips, which burned. It’s only natural to think the burning sensation is also burning the sh*t out of the cold germs.

It took Michael a good few minutes to muster up the courage and settle a few pre-gag reflexes before he took his dose. Eventually he did, and we both feel exactly the same as we did moments before taking the shot. Of course, we will give it time and take a few more doses and see if it helps. And next time I think I’ll just squeeze the stuff directly under my tongue as recommended by Suzanne so I don’t go walking around with burning lips, smelling like roast lamb.

Still not feeling healthy, I thought it was a good time to have the first juice of my New Healthy Lifestyle. I selected the Earthy Glow juice, made with apple, beets, carrot, cucumber and ginger. If you are Weight Watchers follower, it works out to 6 points. I gave Michael a taste and he wasn’t all that impressed. See for yourself:

I, on the other-hand, have become a big fan of the juicing thing thanks to my sister who introduced me to juicing months ago, so I am used to the bitter, sweet contrast of vegetable/fruit juice. I found Earthy Glow quite enjoyable – sweet with a nice zing from the ginger.

Do I feel healthy yet? No. All I want is a plate full of French toast, dripping with butter and maple syrup, followed by nap wrapped up in a fuzzy blanket and a sheet of Kleenex rolled up into a point and stuffed up my perpetually dripping left nostril. But it is only a half day into Day 1. I’ll give it some time.