Mom’s Remedy

(Stolen picture from the internet. I appreciate you not suing me. I have enough on my mind right now).

Thank God for Mom, Ed, and Auntie Ann. When these three travel together, they start the day with a shot of brandy. At first I was a bit surprised by this, but you know what? Brandy IS medicinal.

I went on a trip with these three a few years ago to Port Alberni, BC and we started the day with a shot of this stuff. Being a bit of a traveling diva, I found that this stuff made traveling fun, and yes, I could stay in a motel that has hookers and johns “partying” in the upstairs room. Girls! Really! My Mom is here with me! But a shot of brandy? Hell, I wouldn’t care if there were bed bugs or if the sheets were any less than 300 thread count and made by un-diapered chimpanzees in a room full of moose poop.

Where to go from here? Well, it’s been a weekend wrought with anxiety. Concerned about a friend here, feeling buyers remorse there (I just bought a 4-cylinder car, and wonder how I will survive after having a V6 car that vrrrooooms very sexily) (I give up sexy for the environment!!! I’ve sacrificed Al Gore! S-a-c-r-i-f-i-c-e-d!). I desperately want a Rolls Royce painted in Asbach brandy brown after watching how they are made on TV last night, and feeling desperately poor realizing that I will NEVER EVER own a Rolls Royce in my lifetime (but at the same time wondering how they would really hold up to an Edmonton winter – which I’m sure could trash a Rolls in 3 minutes flat).  And since we are talking about cars, we might as well mention that Michael Schumacher has found his way back in Formula 1, and I wonder what the hell that’s all about.  Of course, that’s all jealousy, because my ass can’t even BEGIN to dream of fitting in an F1 car without a lot of effort from a bathroom plunger. But let me tell you, it dreams of it. DREAMS. Maybe not so much of flying around a track in Bahrain, but having men competent enough to change a tire in less than 3 seconds?

Anyway, the purpose of this blog today, was to discuss the medicinal properties of brandy, and since my half-bottle is now nearly empty, I can say with some satisfaction that it works. It is medicinal, and right now I care not about anything. A-N-Y-T-H-I-N-G. The Borg can take over the planet. I don’t care.

Thank you Mom. xoxoxooxoxoxoxooxoxoxoxoxoxooxxoxox

5 Comments Add yours

  1. You know, I bet Rolls Royces don't even come with block heaters. Bravo to you for sacrificing for the environment. I just hope you didn't buy a Toyota. I hear they're giving them away these days!

  2. Jenny says:

    In my house it's ….. we are the corg…you will be assimilated. You can well imagine I practically fell off my chair laughing when Don popped that one on me….a VERY accurate play on words IMO!

  3. Thanks for posting. Nice to have a smile first thing Monday morning (daylight savings Monday at that!)

  4. marce says:

    Great laughs!

  5. Khrys says:

    We are Dyslexic of Borg. Your ass will be laminated.

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