Looking at the promo email sent to me, I feel I should have a few drinks under my belt and a bit of uninhibited slurred speech to write this post. Instead, it’s Monday morning, I’m sipping tea and anticipating a day of work ahead of me. But before I do so, I thought I’d take a look at the beautiful photos and read through the dramatic stories and recipes for the new drinks at the luxurious Fairmont group of hotels. The drinks sound exotic, and they look exquisite. I feel I’d have to dress up a little, sit up straight, suppress the urge to use the F word, and sip the drink slowly. This would require some behavioural modification for me, as I tend to wear comfortable clothing, slouch, swear like a sailor, and drink far too fast. My drink is usually a gin (Tanqueray), tonic (Schwepps), lime (big wedge cut with dull knife) dragged around the rim of the glass, squeezed, and chucked in the ice cubes. I may not be fancy, but I’m real.

So before we begin a new work week, let’s take a look at the new cocktail menu that has been rolled out to the Fairmont Hotels, here in Edmonton, there in Jasper, way over there in the London Savoy (hellloooooooo! don’t mind me, just passing through, and I haven’t changed out of my pyjamas yet!), and of course the Plaza in New York (hey, how ya doin’?), Shanghai (侬好), Barcelona (hola todavia estoy en pijama), Montreal (bonjour), Bali (om suastiastu), and other exciting world destinations. I am not a professional. Google is my translator.

I’ll highlight the Soul Reviver, as I think it’s a perfect cocktail to discuss on a Monday morning, no? Caps and italics is the words from the Fairmont hotel people.

SOUL REVIVER

3/4 OZ (22 1/2 ML) THE BOTANIST ISLAY GIN
3/4 OZ (22 1/2 ML) CASAMIGOS BLANCO TEQUILA
3/4 OZ (22 1/2 ML) COINTREAU
3/4 OZ (22 1/2 ML) LILLET BLANC
1/4 OZ (7 1/2 ML) BLACKBERRY SYRUP
3/4 OZ (22 1/2 ML) LEMON JUICE
RINSE ABSINTHE**
GARNISH LEMON WHEEL

** Does the bartender drink this? Seems to me a huge waste to “rinse with absinthe”.

Based on the Corpse Reviver, a drink whose popularity soared with its appearance in The Savoy Cocktail Book in 1930, this version is equally adept at livening up the mood. Blackberries and lemon juice provide a burst of sweet and sour, while a masterful mix of Botanist gin, Casamigos Blanco, Cointreau and Lillet Blanc is poured into an absinthe rinse. If this doesn’t kick-start one’s heart, little else will.

I think a jolt from the nearby portable defibrillator would kick start a heart too, but is far less fun and requires more awkward nakedness.

There are many, many other new cockails to explore. From the mid 1800’s inspired Orange Trip which promises to calm stomachs and cure scurvy and make men think they are clever and look like Vice Admirals, to the 1920’s inspired Madame Fleur which is perfect for the indecisive drinker… it has a bit of gin, cognac and champagne!

I have a close group of friends that regularly meet at our local Fairmont Hotel MacDonald. We like our boozy drinks, we love the elegant surroundings, and the most beautiful views. Service is always top notch, and if we are really lucky, Smudge the dog ambassador is there to greet us.

No matter where you are in this world of ours, find your local Fairmont hotel, gather a few friends, mention “Trump” to launch conversation, and try a few cocktails which will remind you times past when Presidents were respectable, getting through airport security was fast, and we had more trees. Or, at least do what I do, sit by yourself at the bar, study the cocktail menu so long you hear the server sigh and start to form their resignation letter in their mind. Then gently put the menu down and say, I’ll have a G & T please.